Random

i feel like writing . writing a short story again . just to let out everything that i have kept to myself . what else can i do to let it all go .. even though i feel like writing , there's nothing that came to my mind . i have no idea of what to write . i have been writing all the time to let it all go . and now , i really feel like writing . but sadly , i could not think of any stories to write . my imagination is blocked . damn it . but i am sure that i will get an idea to write within a few days . moreover , Malay O lvl is just one more day (not counting today) . so , i got to be ready for my exam . wish me luck . haha . anw , whatever that i wrote is what i really felt . its the way how i express my feelings . by writing , i can let out everything .
Blogged @ 8:40 PM
Don't let me go -

Cerpen.

suddenly , i feel like writing a short story . a story of someone's life which is full of loneliness after being left by someone . i have been writing a composition about a mother's love . im just too emotional this days that i tend to write stories whenever there is time for me . i dont think of anything else . this is just a way for me to get rid of whatever shit that is in my mind . (:
i love writing anyway . if you wanna know , one of my dreams is to be a writer . but somehow i feel that its hard for me to be a writer . my aunt have been saying that being a writer has no life . almost all my dreams she said that i have no life . whatever it is , to me , achieving my dreams is the best for me and i dont bother what she wanna say about it . its my choice . its my decision . (:


bunyi cengkerik menghiasi malam sepi . bulan pula mengambang menerangi malam yang penuh kegelapan . suasana malam itu sungguh menyepikan . kesayuan pula menharungi sanubariku . tiada kata yang dapat menggambarkan perasaanku ketika itu . kenangan lalu pula menghimpit jiwa . setelah kehilangan seorang yang amat aku memerlukan , hidupku bagai tidak menentu . aku bagaikan orang buta kehilangan tongkat . alangkah indahnya jika perselisihan faham antara kita tidak berlaku . namun , apakan dayaku .. aku merasakan bahawa diriku ini bagaikan kerbau dicucuk hidung . aku mengikut sahaja apa yang engkau katakan tanpa menghiraukan betapa tersiksanya hatiku ini . hampir setiap malam setelah kejadian itu , titisan mutiara jernih yang menemani tidurku . kehidupanku bagaikan laut pun ada pasang surutnya . alangkah indahnya jika aku dapat memutarkan masa kembali . aku tidak mahu kerana apa yang telah berlaku antara kita , engkau menganggapku seperti kacang melupakan kulit . aku bukanlah seperti itu . walau apa pun yang berlaku , kebaikan yang telah engkau lakukan untukku akan selalu aku ingati .. tanpa kusedari , kaca-kaca kristal berlinangan di pipi gebuku . kesayuan yang aku rasakan tidak dapat disusunkan sebarang perkataan . walaupun aku dapat berkongsi perasaanku kepada orang-orang yang aku cintai , mereka tidak akan dapat merasakan apa yang sebenarnya aku rasakan seperti berat mata memandang , berat juga bahu memikul . aku tersentak dari lamunanku apabila kedengaran bunyi guruh yang memecahkan suasana yang sepi itu .
Blogged @ 6:10 PM
Don't let me go -

Answers.

here , you will find all the answers that you are looking for . you did nothing wrong . but somehow , i feel that i am mad at you . i just dont know why . the whole day yesterday , i was doing reflection . i was thinking what do i really want to be ? what has happened to me ? why i cant concentrate in my school ? i was really upset with my results . you said to me to not think about it . now , im telling you , i cant concentrate ! so , how am i going to pass in my other upcoming exams ? i lost my concentration since .. whatever has happened , is bothering me too much . i cant believe that i got the worse grades . im not saying that i cant concentrate about my relationship . but its about problems everywhere and about what has happened a month ago . im still trying to get over it . im too stressed out that i became sick . and if you wanna know , i tend to vomit what i have ate is because that im too stress that i just feel that i cant eat . in fact , when im stress , i will tend to eat alot . as i said to myself , if i really cant handle my stress level anymore , i will switch off my handphone most of the time . and that's what im doing . i dont want any disturbance . i feel that i have no control to my stressness already . how am i suppose to be in track again ? now , even at class , i could not concentrate . tell me what the freaking hell have gone into me ! everyday , at school , i will tend to laugh alot , thinking that i will be able to not think about my problems and my fucking grades . but im wrong . as soon as when im alone , i cried thinking about it . i really feel like quiting . i gave up . i need support . no one knows what is the real reason behind all this . not even you . im just too stressed out !!
Blogged @ 5:47 PM
Don't let me go -

Girlfriends

yesterday , i went out with my girlfriends . it was supposed to be the MISS day out . but then , Myra wasnt able to join us . whatever it is , i still enjoyed myself . i enjoyed every moment of yesterday . i have been laughing from the starting till the end . teehee . firstly , we went to Salvation Army . it was boring at there . aniwaes , i bought a bracelet same with Shikin . hee . all of us were hungry , so , we went to BPP to eat . i introduce to them Naked Fish . hahs . then , Shikin ate baked rice . Ikaa ate fish and chips and I ate fin and feather . hahs . we were all full after eating our meals . however , Ikaa and Shiks are craving for oreo cheesecake . so am i . yesterday , our "BB" is really craving for alot of food ! haha ! then , we went to West Mall . Me and Shiks wanted to buy something at May Fashion . i forgotten to buy at BPP . haha . then , we went to Mc Cafe . at there , Ikaa and Shiks bought Caramel Frappe . I was quite full already , so I didnt buy any drinks . and most importantly , we bought a cheesecake and share among three . haha . it was not as nice as the one me and my aunt bake . teehee . we bake it ourselves better . hahas . then , it was late already , so we went home . and seriously , by the time i reach home , i was damn full . and i feel like vomitting . however , i tried not to vomit . haish . i have been vomitting out everything that i ate . what the freaking hell is happening to me ? haish . my immune system is getting weak . i get sick so easily . i just need to be stress and within a day , i will get sick . OHH MY .. yesterday too , when we were at Salvation Army , i have been fprcing myself not to vomit . and i tried to eat alot by hoping that it will help me not to vomit . and it did . thank God .

I Love You , Girls ..
Blogged @ 6:34 PM
Don't let me go -

MYE

bloody results . damn it . this MYE , i have really slacked . problems occupying my mind . couldnt concentrate well in my studies . things have not been going on smoothly for me . my grades drop tremendously . freaking tremendously . almost every subject got an F9 ! been so distracted . oh my god .

lazy to update more . feeling sick . and i noticed that this year , i fell sick easily . just took me a day to be stress and there it goes ! damn it seii .
Blogged @ 9:23 PM
Don't let me go -

Untitled

exams over . thank goodness . hee . i think that i have been slacking too much for my MYE . damn gosh . haish . just hope that i still maintain my results . hm . although MYE are over , my mind is still stressed out . i dont know why i am feeling like this . everything has gone messed up . shit . OH MY GOSH ! O lvl Malay paper is just around the corner ! shit ! i need to get my mind on track . i cant afford to lost my concentration .

whatever it is . i miss him . i miss blogging . i miss everything !
for past two weeks or so , i have been letting everything out in my diary . back to writing . haha . and now , i have completed the whole diary . already started on a new one . teehee . need to deco , my diary . was so tempted to write when i have bought a new diary , so i used a normal A5 book . haha . so plain and boring .

thought of updating more . but im tired already . hee .
Blogged @ 9:28 PM
Don't let me go -

Useless

even though i tell you that i still cant let go of him , its a total useless . he's no more there . its over between us as friends . even if i contact him back , he will never reply to my messages . he have let go of our friendship for our relationship . i forget about him already . how i wish that i could tell my teachers to stop teasing me anymore .

once it broken , it can never be fixed anymore .

Trust

you said you trust me . but before this , i could feel that you dont trust me . there's no trust . you still want me to make a decision even though i explained everything . people are telling me to let it go . but i dont want . now since you have said you trust me , i shall see how things will be after this ..
Blogged @ 1:32 AM
Don't let me go -

Blogged @ 1:42 AM
Don't let me go -