FUCKED UP LIFE.

You wont be able to understand what i mean. what i want or anything. i dont know how else to tell you what is deep inside. haish. never mind la. forget it.

i just miss everything. i miss you. i want your love and care. i want your attention.

but this will not lead to any of this. it will just lead to more arguments. and forever arguments.

i am not lying about i need you. cause i know i really need you.

Blogged @ 11:24 PM
Don't let me go -

i feel like going out and get some fresh air. i wanna spent my day with someone i truly need now. but how to ? haish. i wanna do something new. something adventurous. something fun. something that can make me forget about everything that i am thinking right now. i wanna have a peaceful mind before school start. cause i need to focus. and really focus. when school re-open, the modules become harder. and there is this module that my class advisor said will be difficult. haish. Syg, i need a peaceful mind. right now, i am distracted. really distracted. my project is left half way done. and its 50% of my module. FUCK! and i still have yet to do my case study! which i think is 60% of my that module! FUCK! i can see my A's for these modules gone already. i wanna cry.

my mind is really distracted.

i'm sorry Mom, if i were to flung again.

now, i am trying to get back on track. but i cant. haish. july is arriving. then august. then september. and its my Exam. damn it. i used to study everyday. but why not now? i guess, my mind is really distracted. too stress out that i feel like picking up what i have thrown away few years back. i'm trying to control myself to get away from that thing. it will just harm me. trying. trying really hard. but i still cant clear my mind. i need my old self back. the one who is really into studies when she first started her new life in ITE.

if you have a way,please tell me how to overcome it. i am so disturbed.

Blogged @ 4:14 PM
Don't let me go -

Blogged @ 1:35 AM
Don't let me go -

Had fun with my classmates. hee. but now, i am feeling really lazy to update about it. hee.
Blogged @ 2:18 PM
Don't let me go -

Yesterday went out with my friends, MISS and Aliff. Heh. We had fun.. And a heart to heart talk. Aww. Ikaa wanted to cry.. But, it's worthwhile babe. I hope that after this everything will be fine now and future. (: I love you, girls. And ohh, Aliff, Shiks called him a retard. Haha. Serve you right that you are by yourself. Hehe.. Ohh Shiks, i want to see our pictures! Hee. I heard Ikaa said the pic when we hug each other was nice. Thanks dude. But you spoilt the moment of our heart to heart talk.

Damn it. Now my ppt low. Sadded. And i think someone is mad for me keeping quiet whole day. My ppt low la, Nana. Patience kay? I'll top up soon..

Just now when to Yew Tee again to shop for BBQ stuff. Had a nice bonding time with my cousin, Aishah. Hee. Spent alot sia.. I just hope that i don't exceed the budget. Hopefully! Now very tired alr.. Don't feel like going back to BB. But i miss my mom. And tmr still need to help my granny cook in the kitchen. Heh. Can't wait for tomorrow. (:
Blogged @ 5:07 PM
Don't let me go -

You finally gave me the answer. But still, things is not that right. Why? I also don't know.. Haish. I guess, what my cousin said about me is true. But i'm scared. And i don't know why.. Haish. I'm feeling stressful. I think, i wanna put aside all this. And just concentrate on anything that i wanna do. Enjoy & study well. (:
Blogged @ 2:24 PM
Don't let me go -

i was hoping for you to be there. i feel that i am so isolated at there. thus, i need you. but i guess, i am hoping for the impossible kan. whatever i say pun, you will just think that it's what i really mean kan. hm. u know i was not in a good mood. but why cant you talk to me and make me smile as you used to ? u are right, if i dont want you to come, i should have just told you. but the fact is, i want to meet you badly. but already in the morning things are not right. it keep on bothering me. and i'm sorry that u can't surprise me. i appreciate it. dah la u, i also dont know how we nak move on. i just know. i dont wanna lose you totally.

i just feel like banging my head on the wall. freaking stress out. fuck la sial!

Blogged @ 12:06 AM
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i have just came back from camp. it was such a fun camp. (:
Blogged @ 8:25 PM
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Met Nana today. But didn't get to spend the whole day together. Sadded. Waited for him.. And at last, i just went home.. Never mind. I understand his reason well. I know.. I can't expect alot from him.. He needs to spend time with his family too. So yeah. No high hopes. Or i'll be the one who is upset. Whatever it is, i enjoyed the time i spent with him very much. Thanks Nana.. I love you. And i'm missing you right now.. ):
Blogged @ 8:52 PM
Don't let me go -

i don't know why. but today i feel super stressed out. i shouted at my friend. and i talked in a bad manner to my Nana. i'm sorry to the both of them. i really don't know what is wrong with me. i miss my Nana. i need my Nana. i wanna hug him. and let go off all my stress. he's the only one that can help me to release the stress. Syg, i can't wait to meet you. i really need to meet you. i miss you. i want hugs.
Blogged @ 11:32 PM
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I MISS NANA! (:
Blogged @ 2:32 PM
Don't let me go -

both of us got easily agitated. and end up in a bad conversation. see, things were okay. and then there will be a day that things will just be bad. i don't know what is wrong. but i think it's us. we are the problem. you said you don't know why you are easily agitated. look back and think. why is it on that day, things were fine and suddenly went downwards. if you were to asked me why i became easily agitated, it's because that i can't stop myself from thinking what are we right now. and to think of it, it made me upset. we talk like ONE. we do like ONE. we act like ONE. but are we ONE? that's the thing that makes me feel empty inside. i told you when i am at school, my friends are there to make me laugh and smile. but when i am alone, the smile is gone. and my emotions took over me. i know you maybe like this too. i don't blame you for my emptiness. i don't put any blame on you. i'm confused. and i need an answer. but somehow, i feel that i won't get any answer. my life seems so dull even your presence is there as i am still confuse of who you are to me. we may look like One. but we may not be One. i know that you're there. but are you really there in my life? or are you just there but not meant to be mine again? i know some people may be laughing at me seeing my situation right now as i am the one who is stupid in the past. but this is what i really feel. my life is dull without you as mine and only mine.
Blogged @ 6:40 PM
Don't let me go -

look at the date today.
Blogged @ 9:27 PM
Don't let me go -