there's nothing for me to update . there's nothing for me to talk about .
it's great to hear the recent update .
hope that you will be happy (:

three words for someone .
I Miss You ..
Blogged @ 7:43 PM
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now . 0140 AM . still not asleep . but i am tired .
went out to do my homework yesterday at jurong lib then to bbcc and completed my homeworks . only those i brought along though . i forget to bring my math wksht and social studies wksht . sway . if not , maybe i will be able to finish it .
later , maybe im going out again . i want to complete my homeworks .
alone also never mind larh . but it will be better if there's company .
anw , my handphone spoilt ! wth ! now , i cant be contact through my handphone .
haish . my handphone can be switch on though . but i cant go to the menu . all i can press is just the on/off button / hang up button and the shortcut for calendar . stupid lorh . no use using it . i receive message but i cant read . whats the use . i need a new handphone ! haha . stupid handphone . got irritated that i couldnt sleep fiddling my handphone yesterday night . and ended up having a nightmare ! haha ! nightmare , nothing related to handphone . but related to my grandmother . haha . stupid larh . haha .
Blogged @ 1:38 AM
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Dance .

tired . tired . tired .
its been a long time since i have not dance .
hahs . now i feel tired easily .
frankly , im lazy to practise . hahs .
but have to till i am done with my performances .
three performance coming up .
prize giving day . AYG Closing Ceremony . Gendrum .
i have to dance for prize giving day and it will be my last performance in school .
i dont want to miss the opportunity to dance for AYG .
i dont want to miss the opportunity to dance with Live music .
thus , i dont want to miss out these performances .
therefore , i have to keep up with practices . haish .
Blogged @ 10:53 PM
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I Miss You truckloads . <3
Blogged @ 12:07 AM
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damn it uhh . i lost my overall evaluation .
no mood to redo .
stayed up till 3 plus .
and i cant find my work !
what the freaking hell !
Blogged @ 11:46 AM
Don't let me go -

I Miss You !
Blogged @ 12:32 AM
Don't let me go -

I WANNA GO HOME !
T_____________________________T
Blogged @ 2:58 PM
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Blogged @ 4:43 PM
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Untitled.

called you several times , but you didnt answer .. haish . sadded . im missing you .
today was a boring day for me . having cramps . ate medicine . and then , i am gone . hahs . i just woke up . thought of doing my homework . but i slept . hee . actually , there's nothing in my mind that i want to update here . im literally blank . hahs . school holidays is about to end and my homeworks ? still have not complete it yet i have done some of it . damn it . i want to go out to do my homework . thought of going out to do homework on this Friday and Saturday to at least complete most of my math . hee . my english , im left with my essays . damn it . lazy uhh seii . i hate doing english essays . geography untouched ! omg ! hee . social studies too . hee . i just realise that all i have done is math . that too , im not done with it . hahs . i need someone to push me to do my homework ! hee .
Blogged @ 6:16 PM
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Success !

Yeay ! i managed to cook my dishes in two hours ! wee ~
cooked lunch for the family . haha . i cooked spaghetti carbonara !
first time i tried cooking it . hee . nice2 ! i ate one plate of it and im so damn full !
the carbonara is really making me feel full easily . hahs .
practical exam will be on this tuesday . and i hope that i can manage it like i do today .
okayy . im so full already and im feeling sleepy . hee . but i wont be sleeping .
hahs . ohh ya , anw , i have done some of my homeworks . just like what i mentioned on friday , i will sit at home and be a good girl and do my work . hahs .
Blogged @ 5:51 PM
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Done !

FINALLY ! i have done my fnn . however, idk if i did it properly . hahas . its been FOUR long days that i have been doing my fnn . damn it . so exhausted .
sadded . today i cant go out for my Class Outing ! sadded ! haish . nehmind . today let me be an angel . sit at home and do my homework ! lets see if it happens ! haha !
Blogged @ 5:02 PM
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Stars .

Finally , The Stars Are Shining Brightly In The Velvet Sky .
Blogged @ 11:52 PM
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Three Words to Blog .
I Miss You .
Blogged @ 10:00 AM
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you said you will try your best to be like you used to be .
but now , i am thinking , what if i am the one who is not like i used to be .
i am afraid if i am the one who will make things worst .
i miss the old times . i miss us .
i simply miss everything about us .
you said that you will try your bestest .
but i feel as though you are being forced to do this .
i feel as though i am the one who is making you to do all this .
i feel as though i am just thinking of myself . ignoring the mistakes i have done .
i dont understand what i am feeling .
Blogged @ 5:47 PM
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nothing to blog . however , there's alot in my mind .
couldnt find myself . lost in another world.
thought it was over.but it never ends.
left with no hope . but i want to move on .
sitting all by myself . thinking of it .
making me sick . making me sad .
wish for everything to be fine . but it never changes .
cant help myself . i am totally gone .
it hurts . till my heart bleeds .
i dont want anything else . just a peace of mind .
feel like running away . but i know it will be of a no help .
feel like sleeping all my life . so that i will be free of all this miserable life .
i feel like leaving everything . but i really need all those .
dont understand what im doing . im just not being me .
i lost my soul . but my body is here .
Blogged @ 1:49 PM
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Gone.

where are all the laughter and happiness in our life ? what has happen to us AGAIN ? i tried my best to not bring up that subject . i tried my best to think that nothing has happened between us . but whenever i talk to you on the phone , i feel as though you are mad at me . you have been saying that it is not my fault . but what you have been giving me is showing that it is my fault . you know , these days , every morning , i woke up and read your messages or waking up after dreaming about you , i will end up crying silently . tell me , what am i feeling ? tell me , how am i going to continue my life if i tend to start my day by crying .. i am already losing hope to move on early in the morning . i am wondering will i ever make my family be proud of me when i cannot move on already ? you are the one who helped me to be the best . but now .. i feel as though i have lost my pillar of strength . i am no more motivated . i am losing my strength as the days goes by .. i am losing hope . last time , i used to like being alone .. but right now , i hate being alone .. whenever i am alone , i feel like throwing tantrums . i feel like crying my whole heart out . just like what i did these few days .. whenever i called you , and your attitude is different , it hurts tremendously .. i feel like hanging up on you and let go of all the tears .. i guess this are all what i am supposed to get from you after what i have done all this while . i tried doing everything as per normal , but nothing seems right . you know , i could not understand my feelings that i feel as though i have gone crazy . you know , i miss my little sis a lot . however , when she was beside me . and tired to be lovingly with me , a slap just landed on her cheek . i was irritated with her . haish . i cant control my emotions .. i feel as though that i need to meet a psychiatrist . i hate myself for being like this . about my studies , i feel as though i have no more hope in my studies . i do not know what has gone wrong with me .. things have been hard for me . i feel like ending all that i have been doing . and i hope that those bad things that came to my mind , will not be a solution for me to get rid of all this . i hope that all of that will never come to my mind again . if it really comes back when i am corrupted . then .. hopefully i wont be doing those stupid stuffs . now , i just feel like finding a solution for a peace mind .. i feel like running away from everyone .. spending time on my own by the beach where i can enjoy the blissful wind , the sound of the waves .. and the beautiful scenery .. even if it will create a farce smile on my face , it will still give me some fresh air and a peace mind .. i feel restless these days .. all that i have been doing to make it right just feel that it is all useless .. all my efforts have gone into vains .. i am living in a such fucking time of my life . while this is suppose to be my important year , i feel as though my life has end here .

Mom , im sorry .. maybe , i can never be the one to make you proud of . in fact , i am the one who is going to ruin our lives . i am the useless one whom you cant rely on . im sorry . i guess , my 2nd chance to live is not worth living . i should have just lost my life when i am still an innocent child who does not understand anything .. im sorry , Mom ..
Blogged @ 10:02 PM
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Sorry.

i knew it . you did saw it . im sorry . i know it hurts . im sorry . since that u have seen it , i have to be truthful to you . i agree , i wont be able to get over it . im sorry . all this while too , my aunt have been telling me to tell you about it . but all i did was to tell you in an indirect way . im sorry . please , if can , i dont want to talk about it anymore . but i realise that it can never end . haish . and now , you are in a bad mood . and you keep saying youre fine . i know its my fault . i keep on saying that i have get over it . but the fact is , i cant get over it . im sorry . maybe , even if i apologised , it will be hard for you to forgive me . but still , i apologise for it .. if its hard for you to forgive me , its okay .. maybe i dont deserve to be forgiven . you know , when you replied to my messages in that tone , i feel hurt . but what can i do , i guess i deserve it . coz of me , you became like this . i was upset and i have been trying to not be upset by talking with my siblings and my maid . but at the end , i will end up crying alone , silently without anyone noticing . whatever it is , things became like this coz of myself . so , i deserve all this . when i asked you if you want me to call , your tone of replying to my message is cold . i could feel that you are angry or whatever with me . but its okay . as i said i deserve it . i dont know since when i am blaming myself for this .
Blogged @ 10:44 PM
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Cravings

im too bored that i am actually listing down my cravings . haha .

• cadbury roasted almond chocolate
• fererro rondnoir
• kimchi rice
• sushi
• unagi pasta
• unagi don
• pizza
• donuts
• famous amos cookies

omg . its just simply everything ! hahah !

Blogged @ 4:45 PM
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Random

just now after my malay paper , M.I.S.S went to IMM . hee . we went to eat at BK . hee . then , we walked around . we went to Daiso . poor Ikaa , her hair got into the chilli sauce while she was eating french fries . hahs . it seems that her hair is also hungry and want to eat too . haha . aniwae , im bored . this first week of school will be packed with HELP programme . damn . haish . tomorrow will be such a lousy day . from the starting of the day till recess , it will be math lesson . damn it seii . haish . and then after recess it will be POA . again POA will be from the starting after recess till the end of the day . therefore , it means that tomorrow the whole day will be full of math . aiyoo . anw , my grandmother knows about my result and she's disappointed . she said that i have never done badly for my exams . but now , i did badly for it . tell me , what should i say to her ? all i know was that my mind could not concentrate in my exams that time . my mind was corrupted . haish . anw , forget about it . i will do my best in my Prelims . (:
Blogged @ 9:42 PM
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