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Thursday, December 30, 2010


Even after telling you , nothing really bothers anymore .. Perhaps, I shall stop hoping for what I have been wanting. And I shall just keep quiet .. I know this is going to kill me. But I am going to survive through it no matter what.. Sometime I really feel that this is driving me crazy. But it's okay. I am willing. Dont you worry. I will just be fine.
I just want you to know. When there's silence from me, something is wrong. I dont need anything else. I just need you. Perhaps, you dont see what i really need. Or you does not know what to do. Or anything. When I'm silent, the only thing I need is attention from you. I need you. I need you to cheer me up. Ensure me that you're there. Ensure me that everything is fine.
I shall stop hurting myself. I shall stop hurting you. I shall stop hurting the both of us. I need to learn to be more independent and not be clingy or anything that may make you get irritated by me. I will keep to what I have said to myself. I will try to hold it as long as I can. If it's the best solution, I have no choices left.
If things continue to be this way, perhaps, I need to change myself. Better or worst, I still dont know. Perhaps, I will just be a very quiet girl that hopes for nothing. Im sorry. I love you.

Blogged @ 8:23 PM
Don't let me go -

Wednesday, December 29, 2010


Oh well. I think things have been going fine. But I dont know why I feel that something is still amiss. I feel so pressurised and stress out. I feel that I can really go crazy anytime soon. Sighs. I get upset easily. I am becoming more sensitive these days. And I am becoming more like a kid when I am with him. I want to be pampered more each day. I feel that I need him more and more every single day. Am I being too clingy ? Why am I like this ?
Well, maybe it's just me. Hm.. I still feel something is really amiss. Hm.. I cant deny that till now, I still cant get over the facebook thing. It's bothering me too much. I have been asking from him for so long.... Yet, he's not giving me.. I get upset over this. I dont know why. I just want us to share and not keep things from each others. I have tried to not make this as an issue. But I cant seem to. I get mad everytime there's a girl add him. I get mad over little things. Am I being too much ? I cant get rid of this feelings till I get what I want.
Another thing that Im upset with. Him. Hm.. I told him of those plans that he made on last Friday. And again, he said the same thing. And again, I'm just hurting myself. Not that I dont let him spend time with his family. It's just that the way he said it is like he have forgotten every single thing in a minute. It's like there's nothing wrong. Sighs. I just have to bear with all this. This is just part of a test for my patience being with him. Never mind. Im staying strong...

Blogged @ 9:35 PM
Don't let me go -

Sunday, December 26, 2010

I am missing him freaking lots. I just came back from camp. Well, I did have lots of fun at camp eventhough I fell sick during the camp. But that did not stop me from getting involve in the activities there. Except for the campfire. That was when I took medicine and guess what, I didn't know that the medicine cause drowsiness. Which eventually led me to almost fall at the seaside while they are teaching us to start the campfire. So now all that I know is only that we need kerosene. haha! And also of how to make a campfire along the seaside. And after hearing all that, I eventually fell asleep at the trolley. And was instructed to sleep in the tent.

The days at camp with my camp mates was really fun. However not with him. He was very different until Tuesday. And I didn't even know why. Lots of things happened then he told me what had exactly happen. On the day that I went for camp, there is a guy who contacted my guy telling him about me leaving that guy not because of I love Nana but because that I wanna make use of him. For goodness sake. Who the hell are you to say all this ? But I am kinda upset with Nana. Why must he be like that towards me when I am in camp and when I dont know what is the real thing. He could have asked me if i had told anyone about me going to camp or not. But it's okay. Everything is over. And we are fine back.

Few days back, I got upset with him. He said something that makes me unpatient for that day. I planned everything as you told me to. Then you said like that.. haish. I just wished that you knew how much it hurts me. And I just hope that you will remember all those promises and plans that you will make in the future.. I just want you to understand.. Whatever it is, I still love you.

& Right now. I am missing him truckloads.

Blogged @ 1:06 AM
Don't let me go -

Saturday, December 11, 2010


Met Nana yesterday. Happiness filled my day. Thanks dear for everything that you have done for me and us. I did a lot of mistakes. Yet, you have never failed to be there for me or anything. I am sorry for the mistakes that I have done all this while.


Yesterday too, you gave me that Oscar of " World's Greatest Girlfriend " which I was touched by. I made you hurt. I didnt listen to you. I am stubborn. But you still love me like you always do. And you have always been there when I need someone to talk to when I cant sleep at night. No matter how mad you are, you will always be there to comfort me when I am done. Thanks again dear for everything that you have down.. I love you more and more. (:

Blogged @ 1:42 PM
Don't let me go -