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Sunday, February 13, 2011

Jealousy. It's the worst poison that I produce. It makes you mad, upset, and may even make you sick of it. Now, my jealousy have gone overboard as said by him. sighs. I just can't control it.. And now, he said that I don't trust him.. See, Jealousy have made him to think that way. Sighs. What should I do ? I didn't mean anything bad between us. I just wanted to know. That's all. I know I'm at fault. It's my mistake.. I should have not asked her.. Now, I guess he does not want to talk to me. Whatever he said to me just now really hurts. But after all, I deserved it.. He said he have had it with me and my irritating jealousy.. What does that mean ? I love him too much which explains my level of jealousy.. But to him, I guess it's simply because I dont trust him.. Sighs.. I just wish that you would know how I fear of losing you and ho much I truly love you.. 

Blogged @ 3:57 PM
Don't let me go -

Friday, February 11, 2011

i dont know what else to say. i just want things to be fine. ever since sunday, my days was lit up with the happiness that you have showered me with. you made me happy. you made me smile. you made me on cloud nine. tonight, every of that is gone.

all thanks to myself. thanks for scolding vulgarities. thanks for being so sensitive. thanks for thinking about Pika. thanks for just blurting that word out. thanks to that pakcik. but most thanks is to myself. how stupid can i get ? how can i just blurt that out ?

perhaps, these few days i have been having a god damn hard time in school. i can also say that i have been shouting and talked rudely to my friends. despite of my good mood with you, i am mad at school. but not because of you. but because of the people and the things surrounding me in school. but whenever i am with you, i will smile and laugh and never failed to be happy.

i miss you already. sighs. i wonder if i can stop saying that word. i just dont know how to stop. by not letting me saying that word, i feel that there is no forgiveness. ;(

tears be kind. i dont wish for you to visit me today. i have had enough of you just now. but why did you come back again ?

sighs. I love you.

Blogged @ 12:37 AM
Don't let me go -


how would you feel ? what should you say ? ever since that day, i have been thinking about this all over again.

shasha: syai, why i never see your guy post anything on your wall ?
me: oh, im not in his friendlist.
shasha: huh? why?
me: his mother would see it.
shasha: oh. so means both your account is not private uh?
me: mine is. but his is not.
shasha: oh. then you can just view his laa?
me: ya.
shasha: then him?
me: he have to log in to my account.
shasha: oh. okay laa tu. then you got log in to his account?
me: nope.
shasha: huh ? why ?
me: i dont know his password, remember ?
shasha: oh yaa hor. you still dont know ? why he never tell you ? its so unfair.
me: *silence*

i've kept this thoughts away. but thanks to her, i am now reminded of it. this is just one that i told you of. this is not the first time. but several times. the more people ask, the more hurt and stress i would be. i just dont know what to say to them. but i will just kept silence and smile. :)

Blogged @ 12:29 AM
Don't let me go -