just reached home yesterday afternoon .. hehs . enjoyed my trip to sarawak .. we took alot of pictures .. heh . my room mate was ikaa . yeah . hahs . she's the best room mate that anyone would like .. hahs . she took care of me very well . ( dear , she have done her job well ) she's like my mother during the whole time of the trip . ( yes dear .. as she said she'll be with me every sec , min , hour .. ) haha .. we had lots of fun .. im still too tired to update about our trip there .. yeah . hah .

just now , went out with Ikaa , Ibu , Cik Jumi , Nadhirah ( Sis ) and two of my relatives to Vivo . haha . blh tahan gerek uh .. kept on laughing when we went from one place to another .. haha . then ate at harbourfront .. then headed home . me and Ikaa was already worn out when we just wanted to go vivo . so obviously , we were so tired by the time we do all the shopping . hahs . bought the same polo tee with Ikaa . but different colour .. hahs . and my mother said this to one of my relative , " you see larh , the mother dont have money .. but the daughter have a lot of money .. " haha . what the hell ... she said that also because im paying for the tee using my money and my that relative was like saying about me having money . sungguh merepek larh them . when me and Ikaa heard that , we just said that we save money and keep on giggling .. haha . okayy then . that's all . im tired !
Blogged @ 9:58 PM
Don't let me go -

im going off soon .. haish .. for the first time im leaving my family and him .. even if its just for 4 days .. i still feel like its so long that im going to leave them .. my mom and everyone is going to send me off later .. im just afraid that i would cry seeing them sending me off .. i cant go without ibu .. and now , i have to go without her .. haish . wondering how my nights will be at there .. perhaps i will just wake up in the middle of the night , texting her and him .. going to miss the both of them truckloads .. met him just now in the afternoon .. haish .. im missing him already eh .. how to survive ? i cried when i was in his arms .. and i did cried a lot .. so if he's not there , i think im going to cry more during the nights .. haish .. but i know , i have to keep to my promises .. enjoy , ibu , dont cry and to eat properly . i will try my best to keep the third promise i have made .. but i feel like its impossible .. just now , i dont feel like going home . if can , i feel like being in your arms , not letting you go and not going away from you .. i guess , im a little too emotional .. as im going for just four days .. but im already like this .. but what can i do ? its my nature to be like this .. haish . im going to miss everyone .. and im sure , now , among all my other siblings , im going to miss sumaiyah and nadzirah most . oh ya , talking about nadzirah .. i havent seen her since im home after meeting him .. im going to miss the irritating yet loving her .. hahs . and sumaiyah , she came to find for me just to talk to me as she cant send me off later .. and she even ironed for me my clothes .. why is she doing that when im going away ? it will just make me cry more , missing her . haha .. okay , i guess that's all i have to update .. as summary , i will miss everyone !

never mind , Syaidah .. its ONLY 4 DAYS ..
only 4 days .. and i'll be back .. hahs .
Blogged @ 12:05 AM
Don't let me go -

i love and enjoyed yesterday . went to sentosa to celebrate ikaa's belated surprise birthday .. hahs .. last minute , invited Rahim as Naz said that Rahim wanted to meet him on that day .. so i just told him to invite him along .. its difficult to make him come .. haha . but at last , he came .. then at there too was , Ikaa , Imran , Shiks ,Wanny , Myra , Shahshah and Fadd . enjoyed ourselves so freaking alot .. then , Ikaa and I went to play "soccer" with the guys . haha . im so rough . banged on Ikaa and Naz .. kicked the air instead of the ball .. haha .. it was funny .. then went into the sea .. when we got out of it , its freezing cold .. pity Rahim ey .. he had nothing to do when we went into the sea .. i hope he had some fun , though .. then we went in back .. and the water is warm .. haha .. then on the later part , i start sneezing .. so i told him that i wanna get out of the water .. he piggy-back me all the way to our spot .. haha .. lazy to walk , my nose very irritating also .. then , ikaa acted like a mother .. taking my towel and dried my hair for me as i keep on sneezing .. ouhh .. she's so loving .. haha .. appreciate it lots .. then later on that night , we light up candles , engraved " happy b'day Ikaa " on the sands .. and candles lighted up on those engraved words .. really enjoyed myself , though i have to be home at around nine .. Ikaa was so shocked when she came back with Imran .. hahs .. received hugs from her , as usual , girls thing .. then i told the MISS to give a big hug .. and Shiks said , " Jgn smp tercium sudah " as we are really close together .. hahs .. great day .. love MISS ! love Yesterday !
Blogged @ 7:48 PM
Don't let me go -

dont know what to update . too much in my mind . but i just feel like letting everything out to a friend of mine ..

listen here ..
i didnt thought that after knowing everything about me , you still cared . as i told you , i can only regard you as a brother .. now , i remembered about what my cousin said to me .. only if i were smart enough to not know you .. i wouldnt have hurt you this much . and you wouldnt have to care or love me this much . thanks for your concern .. but i really didnt expect all that from you .. now that you have know about the true me , you never fail to say those words . i dont wish to hear all that as i know , i have really hurt you .. i dont want to hurt someone good like you . you're too good for me , Boy . i just need you by my side as a brother .. not more than that .. but the way you have always talk and be there for me is the opposite . you know i can never return your feelings but still you always said to me that you'll wait . how long will you wait ? and when you suddenly told me to forget you and take it as is you have never entered my life even as a brother , that thought kills me again . i lost a brother and now you're walking away , leaving me behind . i was upset . but i know its because whatever had happened that you're walking away .. but soon after that , you texted me saying that you didnt mean all that you were saying .. coz you cant lie to your feelings .. as you have keep that feelings within yourself for a year .. i thought i really deserved to be left by you . you're too good for me .. thanks for your company all this while ..

now , since that i really need to let everything out .. might as well i update everything .

listen ..

not that i cant forgive you .. i just need time to try . i cant deny the fact that i cant trust what you have told me .. but whatever it is , we'll still be together . dont worry . you gave me my own choice to decide about our relationship . and my answer is that we will move on . we open up a new book . as you said , if there's no trust , what's the use .. but i know that i still need you . there's alot that we have been through .. i dont want all that to go to a waste .. i just need to build up that trust again .. hm .. i dont know if i can forgive and forget .. but listen , i'll try .. just to save this relationship . if i dont bother about it , i would have left you long ago .. but since that i really care and love you , i want everything to be the same back . even if there's too much scars in my heart . as long as i have the strength i'll move on . i dont want to lose you as i still do love you very much .. just make sure that everything is going to be alright .. and that nothing like this happens again . if it does , then .. i dont know how long can i hold on anymore ..
Blogged @ 12:35 AM
Don't let me go -

the weekend was a busy weekend for everyone in my family .. but i REALLY enjoyed myself .. on saturday .. i got a surprised by someone .. then enjoyed myself talking to him after getting so much frustration .. did some revision on saturday .. but nothing is in my mind as i was so tired that i cant concentrate .. hahs . then i talked to him till late at night .. almost went to sleep at 2am . but he made me to talk non stop . haha . on sunday , i was damn shocked in the morning when i woke up . he wake me up at 8am .. i was so shocked as he's the one who wake me up and he was like pulling my hand and slapping my face softly just because he's finding for the charger . wth . haha . then when i was sleeping , i felt that someone looking at me .. and its true . wth . then i jumped out of the bed as i was mom shouted from outside of the house saying that my aunt is here to cut my hair . haha . then after haircut , i went down to eat . haha . ate with him and kak sundu .. then went to the shop to buy something for the chocolate fountain .. and kak sundu said , " lets go and exercise here .. " and he was pointing to me and said that im the one who have to exercise as i have grown fat . haha . then three went home .. i study , he accompany me , kak sundu non-stop with the henna . haha . then , at around 1.30pm , we went down again .. as the bride and groom have reached . then i was so happy as i say Eizzam ! haha .. he's there for the kompang . and i told mom that he's there .. then mom ask where . but mom didnt see him as she's too busy . and my little sisters keep on saying " Abg Eizzam " .. told kak sundu .. and she said no wonder your eye keep on twitching .. hahs . then i sang with Baihaqie .. song title Dua Insan .. hahs . and the DJ go and disturb us . wth . then went up again . study .. till night . haha .. I ENJOYED MYSELF (:
Blogged @ 6:50 PM
Don't let me go -

i wanted to show it to you .. but now its not the time .. i have to clear my mind and stabilize myself .. i really want things to be alright soon .. haish .. i know just now you are shock to hear all those things that came out from my lips .. i just dont know what happened . my mind was empty and everything that's in my mind was just about that message . every time i think about it , it makes me upset . haish . i just talk about anything that just came to my mind just now just to hold back my tears . if you're hurt by it , im sorry . whatever that i said are all the things that i have been wanting you to know .. coz living with that to myself makes me feel bad ..

you'll just have to wait for the time that i'll show you the message .. i need time to know about it well .. (:
Blogged @ 10:01 PM
Don't let me go -

i dont want to regret everything .. i dont have the trust for you anymore .. i tried to trust you , but till now , i cant trust you .. i may not know anything .. but somehow i feel that what im thinking about you right now is true .. and what you told me in the past are all just a lie .. perhaps , its difficult for me to know if youre telling the truth .. gave you everything and this is what i get .. it hurts .. i know im not that good either .. but the feeling of being cheated just made everything worst .. i know youre clueless about this .. but let me tell you , whatever that you may say later , i may not believe it anymore .. i dont want to regret knowing you .. i dont want to regret everything that we have been through .. i dont want to regret anything that is related to you .. haish .

thanks guys for your help .. appreciate it lots ..
Blogged @ 1:06 PM
Don't let me go -

somehow .. i feel as though im getting hurt slowly and unknowingly .. is it too late to discover all of that ? sometimes i think that everything was smooth .. but what is it that is happening .. how does it feel when someone did that to you .. the hurt that is felt can never be felt by a person like you . frankly , i have begin to get sick of all of this .. i feel like walking away .. i thought everything were the same .. but im wrong .. things were never the same .. ohh my gosh . what stupid rubbish am i talking about ? haish . im stressed out by dont know what bloody problem that is going on with myself , me and only me .

nehmind . i need to concentrate on my exams for now till next week . and after that , i can do , think and solve all my unknown problems .. but right now , i really cant sleep .. its 130am .. im tired .. but i couldnt sleep . what the hell !
Blogged @ 1:21 AM
Don't let me go -