i know.. im no more the Idah that you used to know.. how i wish that i didnt not change.. how i wish that nothing that have made things to be like this to happen.. i realised that my attitude towards you is different.. i realised that these days, we cant bring up a conversation. i didnt mean to say all that bad characteristic of you.. i just know that there's something that hinders me from being like i used to be. somehow too, i find that all that have happened, made me to have no feelings. sometimes i do feel that my heart is empty. when i asked myself why, i will just end up in deep thoughts.. im like lost in another world. im like trying to look into the future. how will my life be? when will all this misery end? when will things get back to its usual place? lots and lots of question are playing in my mind.. but there are no answers to any of it. is this what people call life? to think back, my life has never have a long lasting happiness.. my childhood, my teen life.. all gone in a glance. where's the life that everyone would love? people say live your life to the fullest. but me? am i able to live my life to the fullest? im trying my best to pull through all that have been happening.. but i've always found myself struggling.. these days, my emotions arent stable. could get angry at any time. irritated at most of the time. and i hate sitting alone. even though, i used to love being alone. but now, no. haish. im tired.