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Sunday, May 9, 2010

i met him on Saturday. went to fetch him.. i was afraid to meet him. yet, all those words that he said to me made me felt better. and slowly i'm starting to be okay with him. but.. i'm still left here.. clueless. even he said that, i feel that it's just me by myself. i still doesn't have him with me.. i'm upset to think of it. maybe i shouldn't even be like this. maybe.. it will take some time.. but i just hope that he knows how much this is affecting my mind right now.. it's really killing me already. and i'm slowly losing my focus in my studies AGAIN. i thought i was fine and able to be okay. but i guess it's only for a moment of time.

you, if you think that you cant. just tell me. i want to know how we really are. stop making me confused. i know i sound selfish in here. but i really can't take it being clueless like this.. what else should i do? you told me to prove it to you. i've tried my best. i've told you about why i can't do it. haish. it's okay if you don't want it. i will just be fine. right now.. all i can say is that.. all your questions are giving me more question marks in my mind..

i need you. i want you back. but you're there.. giving me hopes which i dont know if it's real. i need your answer. but i still didnt get any. what should i do? bang my head on the wall? hurt myself? make you happy? what? i know i've hurt you alot by what i've done to leave you. i know i've hurt you by saying that i've fallen for another guy. but everything was just merely words. nothing else. now i'm no longer in contact with him. yet, i feel that you still think i'm hoping for him. what else should i do to make everything right? i'm stressed!

Blogged @ 11:52 PM
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