<!-- --><!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(//beta.blogger.com/css/navbar/classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/> <!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(//www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/2607199766271125734?origin\x3dhttps://her-inner-voice.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> <iframe src="http://beta.blogger.com/navbar.g?blogID=36048451" height="30px" width="100%" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" id="navbar-iframe" frameborder="0"></iframe> <div id="space-for-ie"></div>
Saturday, May 29, 2010

i tried my best to get everything right. but slowly again, i feel that it's much further when it's already near to me. tears rolling down my cheeks everytime i'm reminded of it. will it ever be the same? now.. i feel that nothing can be the same. even if i try and try till i cant do anything. all i want to do is cry and cry till there's no more tears in my eyes. i miss the past. i miss us. i miss everything. but everything just doesn't seem that it's going to come back into my life.

i know you're mad with me. i know you may think that i'm still fooling around and not serious about it. but you never know how much and how badly it means to me in every way. i keep all my days with a smile on with all the memories in my mind to keep me be happy. it makes me alive. without it, i dont think i will be able to get all that i have achieve right now. you're my strength. you're the only one which brings me light in my life. i know, i have hurt you alot. and that i have done doesnt shows you how much you meant for me. i know all that. but how else do i show you that everything is not a farce?

whenever things are getting better, there will always be something that will make either of us unsatisfied and end up like this. for today example, i dont know why you have no mood, i tried to talk. the more i tried, the more i wanna cry. i want you to talk. yet, you just kept silence. and when i asked you if you're tired, again you said that i have got a replacement to talk to. you arent trusting me dont you. that trust will never be there again no matter what i do. why ? cause you yourself dont know how you can trust me again. fine. dont trust me. Dont ever trust someone like me who have hurt you in every way. cause no matter how much i do, you wont trust me. trust what your heart says. if your heart says that i am not serious and i am just fooling around, then just trust yourself. but me, myself. i know what i really need and want. i know.. i need you. but it doesnt look like i will get you back. even if i cry till there's no tears left, i will not get you back. dont waste your time telling me your answer. i know that you will never be mine again.

over the phone, i tried to talk. i tried to cheer you up. but nothing works. i tried my best till i cant do anything more. i tried to talk as per normal eventhough i'm actually crying. i tried to listen to you even though it's hard for me. but i'm trying. i am trying. i want you to rest, but you got me wrong. you, listen. since the day i said i truly know that it's what i want and really sure of what my heart says, i have never have any other one there for me besides you. i cut off all my connections with the ones that you dislike. i try to change. but it cant be seen to you. why ? cause you already dont believe in me. just tell me straight to my face that you dont want me anymore. i will stop disturbing you. just tell me straight to my face. dont care of my feelings. just hurt me. just do anything to satisfy yourself.

just one thing.. i know i love you. i know i need you. i know that i want you and no one else. i know i sound like a desperate. but this is what i really want. this is what my heart keeps on saying. this is what my mind says. this is just simply what i have been finding for. with you in my life, everything lit up. even when you're gone that moment, the smile is still there, not because of anyone else. but because of you. i always think of the good times we have had. all of that made me to keep on going. ask all my friends, what i said to them about us. to some even, i cried when i recall back all those memories. but yet, there's a smile on my face. why ? cause all of that are such a beautiful moment for us. i share with them all the things that i went through with you. and in my mind, and heart,i know that it's what makes me to be assure that i am doing and making my right decision. the decision that i really want. but it doesnt not only depends on me. it depends on you. the final decision is in your hands. its yourself. not me.

but it doesnt mean that i am giving up. just remember that. i love you. and i still do. i need you.

Blogged @ 2:06 AM
Don't let me go -